At first glance, Gary Chapman’s “love languages” framework might seem far removed from professional fundraising. But the underlying insight—that people have different ways of feeling valued and connected—applies directly to our work.
The Five Languages
Chapman identifies five primary ways people express and receive appreciation:
- Words of Affirmation: Verbal expressions of appreciation and encouragement
- Acts of Service: Doing things that help or support
- Receiving Gifts: Thoughtful presents and tokens
- Quality Time: Focused, undivided attention
- Physical Touch: (Less applicable in professional contexts)
Trauma-Informed Connection
Here’s where it gets interesting: trauma can affect how people receive appreciation. Someone with a history of broken promises may be skeptical of Words of Affirmation. Someone who experienced neglect may be especially responsive to Quality Time. Someone from a background of scarcity may find Receiving Gifts complicated.
Trauma-informed fundraising means paying attention to these dynamics—not to diagnose donors, but to notice what actually lands for each person.
Practical Application
Pay attention to how donors respond to different forms of appreciation. Some light up during personal visits (Quality Time). Some respond most warmly to handwritten notes (Words). Some appreciate when you remember their preferences and act on them (Acts of Service).
Over time, you’ll develop intuition for each donor’s “language”—and your stewardship will become more effective because it actually connects.
